right now this is the hardest thing I've written here

[ladydouji]

I was debating about making this a friends only post, but I have some friends without a livejournal so


Last night a friend contacted me in AIM and told me about some character faults I have which are driving her, and apparently some of my other friends as well, away. Since then I've been swinging between anger and sadness over the revelation.

What has me upset is the inescapable feeling of people talking about me behind my back, and that my friends would rather avoid and exclude me then tell me about stuff I do that bug them. That they would rather let us drift apart than confront me and give me a chance to fix my fault. And in one case I'm faced with the possibility that a friend outright lied to my face to avoid spending time with me.

So right now I'm hurting and other than the person who spoke with me I'm not real sure which of my friends I can trust, or how close I really am to them.

To my friends, I'm sorry if my behavior bored, annoyed or hurt you. I just wish you had said something.

Comments

::hugs::

[tpod.livejournal.com]

You haven't annoyed ME yet.

Well, other than that nose picking thing. Yeah, that.

Oh. Wait. That wasn't you.

Nevermind then. ^^

::hugs::

I'm not much for offering comfort tonight, am I? I do hope things get to feeling better for you.

[(Anonymous)]

::big hug:: sorry to hear that... but the sad truth is that the people close to you can hurt you the most, as well as comfort. You should talk to them - and if they're really your friends, they'll accept you for who you are, as you accept them for who they are. I admit, it was pretty horrible what they did - talking behind one's back is almost like stabbing at it - but as I said, talk to them and tell them how you feel... give it another chance if you think your friendship is worth saving.

teno hikari

http://www.barcodeblue.com/hikari/log/

[madamblue.livejournal.com]

*blink* What the... Who what where when huh?

[jo-mako.livejournal.com]

Huh? Okay firstly I don't see what they're talking about. I adore the hell out of you! I admit that I am an anti social bitch most of the time but good god!

If it helps any at all, whenever Mum and I talk about you, it's in "God Deb's cool/sweetheart/trippy!" *hugs*