ladydouji

So far I haven't been keeping up with actually using this journal like I planned. Reading through my old entries I never really said much of importance but at the same time it's bringing back memories.

It's weird to think about but I no longer have any of the cats I've previously mentioned or talked about on my journal. I posted about Teddy and Chester so now I guess it's time to say what happened to Carrie, Smudge, Patch and Rocky.

Carrie passed away Sept 11 2016. She had stage 4 renal failure so I knew it was coming. I had been hoping she would hang on long enough to be with me when I graduated. Sadly she had a bad night and passed away in my arms. I suspect this was a factor in the depression i found myself sinking deeper and deeper into the following years.

In November 2020 a few days before Thanksgiving my door didn't close completely and Smudge got outside and never came home. I hope she found her away into someone's garage and is either still alive and safe and being loved, or if she has passed, passed without pain.

Patch passed away Jan 27th 2022. He had been having health issues for a year and finally got tired of the fight.

Rocky passed Oct 27th 2024. I'm still not sure what happened. I got up, fed all my cats breakfast and he was standing patiently by his bowl waiting. I went into my office and clocked in for work. After I clocked out and went to feed everyone dinner he didn't come. I thought maybe he had slipped outside when I took some trash out, so I went to get shoes on and found him collapsed between my ottoman and couch, in a spot I couldn't see from the stairs. I can only assume that whatever happened happened quickly because I never heard any sounds of distress.

I now have a depressing collection of urns for the ashes of all the cats I have lost(except for Smudge) and as I'm foolish to continue getting more cats I've only set myself up for more heartbreak in the future.

Current Mood: gloomy

Many many years ago a week after I graduated from high school my family packed up and moved from the rural boondocks of Amish country in Ohio to Houston, TX. It was a big change, and was a lonely summer as I didn't know anyone and had no way to meet people. During that time my parents decided to get AOL, something unavailble in our part of Ohio at the time. Lonely and bored I went looking through the AoL message boards and found a group dedicated to talking about a show I really enjoyed. Ronin Warriors.

It was a welcome surprised, as much as I loved the show, none of my friends in Ohio cared about it, so finding another group of people who did. Winnie, Jink, Evan, Adam, Mako, Tracy. They all seemed impossibly cool to me, but they were warm and welcoming. My first friends after high school.

Winnie was the ring leader and heart of the group. When AoL got mad at our discussions she took us to an E-groups mailing list(later turned into yahoo groups) and from there the Ronin Warriors Yaoi Cake Page. I felt so happy and proud being able to help with the doujinshi scans sections.

Through Winnie and Minkland I got introduced to another anime series called Gundam Wing, and it's mailing list. From there I met more local anime fans, including the woman who would become my best friend going on 27 years now. And I pulled her into the Ronin circle.

I only got to meet Winnie IRL once, at Yaoi-con 2002, rooming with her Jink, Mako, Mako's Mom, and Brian. Cool and calm, as she and Jink marketed the Minkland basement project, and somehow keeping the chaod of all us weirdos organized and on track.

Mink and all the crew helped teach me how to connect with people over long distances and find friends, which let me find more friends over the years as I moved from fandom to fandom. Without them I don't know how lonely my life would have been.

A few months ago I learns the Yoroiden Samurai Troopers(the show localized as Ronin Warriors) was getting a sequel series. I hoped that maybe this could serve as a way for the old Mink crew to have a bit of a reunion and revival, as after so many years we had drifted and lost contacted. But then, the day the new series aired I got the news the Winnie, the woman that started it all had passed away. The timing seems like a cruel cosmic joke. The woman who brought together and inspired a motley crew of misfits over a love of pretty boys in armor wouldn't be able to see the new crop of boys? It doesn't feel real and it doesn't feel right.

Current Mood: numb

Re-reading so many of these old post brought back so many memories, and realized that the other social medis I use I don't post a lot about what's going on in my life and feels. I don't know why i just got out of the habit or I was scared of being noticed and going viral. But currently I want to document what's going on, so guess here and now is the time to start. Guess we'll still if I can do this on a regular basis.

Finally imported all of my old LJ posts here to Dreamwidth with all the rumors of Livejournal disappearing. Reading through the entries has brought back so many memories and now I kinda want to start posting here on Dreamwidth. It'll just be me shouting into the void, but that's pretty much what I was doing on livejournal anyway.

I'm finally graduating but can't find myself to be excited over it.

Ahh livejournal. It's been a long time. But right now I need a place to vent with a minimal chance of attracting drama from tumblr's social justice warriors. Cause right now I need a break from the hypocrisy of these people.

One of the biggest fights for SJW is that or minority representation in the media. There should be more PoC in speaking, non-villian roles. There should be more LGBT characters, again in non-villainous, non-joke roles. Hypocrisy rears it's ugly head when there is progress made in one of these regards, but SJW decide it doesn't count or it's not good enough, or it's not the representation that they want so they're just going to complain. They're not going to take a moment to breath, enjoy the fact that progress has been made before picking the fight back up again.

Case in point. Disney/Pixar's new short Lava. A cute little short about anthropomorphized volcanoes falling in love through a song. The SJW's complaint. That one volcano is male and the other isn't clearly female. http://waltdisneyconfessionsrage.tumblr.com/post/122024689669/mod-post-lava-a-discussion-on-visual-politics and so it's a heterosexual volcano romance rather than a gay one, and the current standards of beauty.

Along come some Hawaians, talking about about how Iz an activist, and musician from their culture, and beloved figure what was partly the inspiration for the short(particularly the music, and the male volcano looks a lot like him, and the girl volcano looks a lot like his wife.) They talk about how happy they are to see some of their culture being portrayed positively, and that the short is a wonderful homage to someone they love. Plus it used the talents of actual Hawians rather then using whoever was handy(and like white) http://rosworms.tumblr.com/post/125334926568/lupiins-rosworms-satanspuddingcup-replied-to

The SJW's response? Well they don't care In fact they seem to go out of their way to dismiss and ignore all the points the Hawaians who are happy about the short bring up. http://rootbeersweetheart.tumblr.com/post/125305553594/avatar-dacia-warmpastry-rosworms. This link is actually kinda funny, because one common thing in the SJW warriors toolbox for criticizing creators is the war-cry "Intentions Don't Matter" only the impact. So that if a creator doesn't something, when something that pushes the boundaries of what's been done, any tiny flaw that the warriors don't agree with gives them free reign to completely dismiss the advancement, demonize the creator, and cry about the lack of progress. But when it comes to Lava somehow because the creators didn't "intend" for Uko, and Lele to look so close to real life figures that similarity can be ignored. So apparently author intent(or lack there of) counts when they want to use it to silence people criticizing them, but doesn't count with people suggest using it to create better and more nuances criticism. Which is it tumblr? Do intentions matter or not? Make up your mind.

Nerdfaceangst had a good rundown of the stupidity and arrogance of the people criticizing Lava over it's hetereonormivity while ignoring some other very valid concerns.
http://nerdfaceangst.tumblr.com/post/124778986209/hawaiians-oh-my-god-lele-looks-just-like-marlene

Current Mood: aggravated

Kinda wanted a place to whine and where I wouldn't bother anyone.

In 2013 Chase fired me after 12 and half years with them. They say it was because of poor customer service, but in reality it was more I had been there so long and was making too much money. I did managed to get a new job within 3 months but at a pay cut of about 15,000 thousand dollars a year.

My expenses of course didn't go down, and have gone up slightly with higher property tax and higher hoa payments. Every month is a struggle to get all the bills paid and keep from drowning. I've looked for other and better jobs, but all I've done is customer service and no customer service place that's hiring pays any better then what I'm doing now. Starting to look into other ways to earn money and debating about a part time job if I can find out that will work with my schedule.

Current Mood: depressed

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(figure we can also move parts around as needed)
Cheep-cheep was a very annoyed plush toy. He had felt the tug signalling a Nod-boy in need and followed it. The new Nod-boy he found was much bigger than his little Nod-boy, but very very scared. This Nod-boy had been running and hiding from the scary men who took his father for several weeks. The Nod-boy who ran and hid finally found his Ronin and a place he could sleep safely, but he still needed Cheep-cheep to help with scary dreams.

So Cheep-cheep came and found a place there the Nod-boy who ran would see him. The Nod-boy who ran had spotted him and seemed hesitant to cuddle Cheep-cheep at first, thinking himself too old for plush toy, but had finally given in. The Nod-boy held Cheep-cheep close as he fell into his first restful sleep in weeks. Cheep-cheep felt very proud of himself for helping his new Nod-boy.

Nod-boy who ran’s Ronin however wasn’t very happy with Cheep-cheep and Cheep-cheep didn’t understand why. First Ronin had tried to take Cheep-cheep away from the sleeping Nod-boy, but Nod-boy had whined and fought in his sleep to keep hold of his new plush. Ronin had given up rather than risk waking his Nod-boy. Instead he had waited until the Nod-boy who ran had woken up and gone to bathe, then Ronin had grabbed Cheep-cheep before he could return to his little Nod-boy.

Now this strange Ronin had Cheep-cheep under a bright light on a shiny metal table. He had pointed strange beeping objects at Cheep-cheep, teased out some of Cheep-cheep’s stuffing, and clipped off a tiny bit of his yarn. Ronin kept muttering under his breath there was something weird about Cheep-cheep.

“There’s nothing weird about me.” Cheep-cheep said huffily, “Nod-boy who runs and hides needed me and so I came.”

Ronin didn’t hear him, no Ronin ever did. Ronin picked Cheep-cheep up and turned him over his hands looking over him some more.

“You’re made of some weird materials for a plush toy, but I can’t find anything dangerous.” Ronin said turning Cheep-cheep over a few more times.

Cheep-cheep wasn’t sure if he should be happy Ronin was trying to keep his Nod-boy safe, or indigent he had been suspicious of CHeep-cheep.

“Of course I’m not dangerous. I’m here to help Nod-boy who runs and hides. Now put me back where he can find me!” Cheep-cheep demanded, even is Ronin didn’t hear him, he sometimes listened.

Ronin finally turned away from the table tucking Cheep-cheep under his arm and headed back to Nod-boy who ran and hid’s room. They made a small detour for Ronin to grab some spare clothing for the Nod-boy. Ronin set Cheep-cheep and the clothing on the bed. The sound of running water could be heard from the attached bathroom.

Knocking on the bathroom door, Ronin called out to the Nod-boy, “Nod! I left some spare clothes on the bed. They’ll be a bit big, but should do until we can get something more. Come down to the kitchen one you’re dressed for lunch.”

If Nod-boy who ran and hid responded Cheep-cheep couldn’t hear him. Ronin then left the room. Cheep-cheep waited patiently until Nod-boy who ran came out of the shower and dressed. The Nod-boy looked over a Cheep-cheep for a moment before grabbing him and giving him a quick hug. Cheep-cheep thought the Nod-boy looked a little silly in his oversized clothing, but was happy he had helped the Nod who ran feel better. Ronin should be able to take care of the rest now and keep the Nod-boy safe.

Last Nov a coworker revealed having a crush on me. Today another guy in the callcenter expressed interest in dating me. what the? I am not used to guys showing interest and I dont even know...

So work did their annual shift bid and there's been a change. They reduced the number of evening shifts that received the 10% shift differential and reduced the size of teams who could have them. I was in the 8th decisial (pretty high up) but still only ended up with my second choice shift pick of 12pm to 8:30 losing my shift diff. 3800$ a yeah over 30 minutes a day(if my shift started 30 minutes later or if they had left the 1 hour lunches alone I wold be keeping it) So far none of the people who are on the ONE evening team of bankers for the department I'm in have kept be left with a shift diff schedule, and for a different department people just out of training who had never worked a day on the phones were ranked higher than people who had been on the phones for years. I am raging so hard right now.

Some high muckity muck who makes at least 10 times more than I do decided Chase was spending too much on payroll for the little peons, but call volume and business showed they couldn't get rid of a call center or fire a bunch of people(hell we just opened a new center in Illinois, and are having trouble just getting people through training(think half the new hires quit in terror)) So he decided to just reduce the people on shift diff. Then they are either incompetent on how to rank people or deliberately game it so newer and therefor lower-paid people are given a better chance of the getting the shift diff bonus. All to save a few million in payroll, which will look good for the high muckity muck and undoubtedly earn him a nice bonus at the end of the year. All I know, when Chase sends out the report on the second quarter earnings and profit, I'm just going to be thinking how some of that money came out of my pocket.

Current Mood: enraged

So when I walking into my house Rocky decided to make an escape attempt. I dropped my bags and headed after him. He had managed to get outside the patio gate, but by the time I got there he had already turned around and was heading back to my door. Guess he remembered it was dinner time and that he liked being a spoiled rotten house cat.

Current Mood: amused

The only thing worse than finding out there's no hot water when you're getting ready to take a shower, is finding there's no water period.

*resigned to feeling icky today*

Things that suck. Getting to Ohio and realizing I forgot yo pack my lush soap or shower gel. And the closest lush store is in Dublin. Least I remembered my shampoo and conditioner, and facial cleanser.

Bah. Missed my flight by one minute. Now leaving at 4:45

Current Mood: aggravated

About to head out to the airport and spend a week with relatives in cold cold Ohio. Happy Holidays to all my flist.

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I HATE! lj release_88

Back from Oni-con 2011 and so it's time for a long ass con report.

Friday I picked up Blue around 9am and we headed down to Galveston. Luckily we were able to check in early, despite getting there 5 hours before check-in time. We then went and picked up our pre-reg badges and started looking around. The dealer's room wasn't open yet so we looked around the artist alley and helped my Friend Sarah set up her table. We got in line for the dealers room and when it opened just did a quick look through. Picked up some hair shinies from Pan Gaia, the complete Trigun series as well as some manga I needed to.

Heading out of the dealer's room we found Sarah in a tizzy because some other artist had set up her booth right next to hers and selling the exact same type of merchandise. Since the artist alley didn't have assigned booths the only reason would have been to be in direct competetion and we found it just rude. Also since the artist alley wasn't assigned new girl couldn't be made to Sarah ended up moving to another table and Jen and I decided to make her a new better sign. Ultimately it wasn't much, but it turned out pretty nice for something we banged out in an hour with supplies purchased from Kroger. We got dinner from Landry's seafood, watched some Trigun while I put my hair in rag curls.

Saturday: I acted as a hair model for pan-gaia and started getting cosplay pictures. Big shopping day picking up a Master Grade Wing Zero and some Natsume: Book of Friends. A pretty Cloud print from the artist alley and picked up a bunch of lucky bags from both the artist alley and dealers room, as well as a new little myth bag and a larger myth bag. Checked out the Samurai Dan History of sharp shinny pointy things when was hilarious. Meet up again with Jen in the and we opened up our lucky bags. I got a blast from the past in one, with stickers from Gundam wing and Utena in one of them. We headed out for dinner at a local chinese place before going to the showing of Rocky Horror Picture show. This was the one real disappointment of the weekend. The show was scheduled to start at 9, but the organizers had had another panel ending at 9 in the same room. So the troupe had to get wait till the room was empty and clean before they could set up and let people in. Then they were plagued with technical difficulties and ended up begging the audiences for another laptop they could use. The show finally got started and there were idiots messing with the lights, and too many people shouting too many different callback lines. I was severely underwhelmed, and we just gave up before we even got to Franknfurter's mansion. We packed up most of our stuff in prep for checking out, and I spent an hour and half de-tangling my hair.

Sunday: We loaded up our stuff, checked out and had breakfast at the local Ihop before one last run through the dealers room. I picked up another Master Grade Gundam, Wufei's Shenlong this time, and another lucky bag(yes I'm addicted I know) Picked up some soap from some-one in the artist alley. After grabbing a few move pictures of cosplayers, we finally headed home.

Overall it was very fun, and yet very different from cons in the past. It didn't feel as crowded and claustrophobic as some I've been to in the past. That could be an effect of the con-goers being spread across 3 hotels, but never had to spend 30 minutes in line waiting for an elevator. It was awesome having a Kroger next to the con, and there were a ton of other food choices as well.

Ended with a post of all my con loot

Welp, had a mis-step on the stairs and sprained my ankle and now have some lovely bruising. Happened Tuesday night and at first although it hurt I thought it wasn't too bad as I could still walk on it. Did a cold compress, took a tylenol 3, made a post on facebook and went to bed. Wedensday morning my mom called asking if I needed a ride to the doctor, and since my foot was now worse and I couldn't put weight on it at all, I said yes. So I got dressed, she came and we went to an urgent care clinic for x-rays. Diagnosis severe sprain/strain and possibly a hairline fracture(x-ray needs to be closer examined) Doctor prescribed a week of ibuprofen 800mg and time in a walking boot. Hasn't even been a week and I'm already tired of the boot. And I have no idea how long I'm going to be in it, seeing the doctor at the urgent care again on Wednesday and will learn more then.

I BEAT CATHERINE!!!!!!!!! Jesus fuck me that game is hard!

Looks like we're on a series of character focus eps, with this ep focusing on the Green Ranger Doc. Doc is apparently the smart one(strategy and plans) of the group, but very goofy, clumsy and easily scared. This ep he and Marvelous get separated from the others and are chasing down Kai(from the magiranger series which I haven't seen) who promised to tell them about TGITU if they caught him. Clue Doc scared blubbering when Kai forces them to jump through a ring of fire, sends a boulder after them in a tunnel(think Indy and the Lost Ark) and leap over a 15 meter wide canyon. Doc finds his courage when marvelous is in danger and gets a clue to the treasure, but a minor upgrade and new spell for the magiranger powers when the team transforms into that team.

next week is focusing on Joe(blue ranger), the lancer and stoic of the team.

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ladydouji

Lady Douji's Addictions

February 2026

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Writer's Block: Bah Humbug Day!

Oni-con 2011

Could have sworn I posted this

YES!!!

Pirate Sentai Gokaiger ep 3

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